Why I don’t offer Hair and Makeup
I have absolutely no intention of ever having hair and makeup be a part of my process and here’s my why.
More times than I can count, I have seen other boudoir photographers say that hair and makeup is an important part of boudoir. That it ensures the images come out better, that it is part of the luxury experience. I have even had male marketers be baffled that I get any clients because they can’t imagine that a woman would want her photo taken without having sat in hair and makeup for an hour. They can’t imagine that their are women who want to see pictures of themselves where they aren’t trying to fit into a standard of beauty that has been defined for them, not by them. It pisses me off the most when men say this, but it also drives me crazy when women say it too. Who are they to decide that hair and make up are what create a “good” photo? For that matter, who am I to decide that changing the way you look is what makes a better photo? That should be your decision, not mine.
Now don’t get me wrong, if you love doing your hair and makeup, please do it! But if it doesn’t vibe with you, then show up in a messy bun and chapstick. And this applies for lingerie too. If you love it? Awesome. But if it makes you uncomfortable, we can do an entire shoot without ever touching anything lacy.
For too long, feminism and the idea of not shaving, of not playing into the hours and hours of work that is needed to perform femininity has been deemed ugly. And ugly is still one of the most frequently hurled insults at women to put them in their place. And it’s effective, because we are told that our beauty is what gives us worth. We are told that our erotic capital hinges on our becoming pleasing to the male gaze (Penny, 2014). So if we begin to reject it, if we don’t shave our legs, if we decide that we don’t actually like lipstick and heals, we’re rejecting the one piece of power that we are told we are allowed to have. But here’s the catch, if we like the make up, if we like the dresses, if we like shirts that show off our boobs, if we desire any of these things for ourselves, well than we are deemed sluts, obsessed with our looks. We are vain stupid women. We can’t win. We are punished when we don’t conform to traditional beauty standards, but we aren’t taken seriously if we do.
And Penny (2014) argues that this is because hunger and desire are the most unforgivable sins a woman can commit. If we have hunger for power, for sex, for education, for love, for food, “we are expected to conceal them, to control them, to keep ourselves in check. We are supposed to be objects of desire, not desiring beings.” We are supposed to perform femininity for men, not for ourselves. So if we start to do those things for ourselves, we dumb vain girls obsessed with our looks. And if we reject them? Then we are ugly, then we have knowingly given up the one piece of power that we supposedly have. Any display of desire and power is a threat to the power structure of patriarchy.
So what does this have to do with me not offering hair and makeup? It comes down to the simple thing that I want you to choose what you desire. I want you to do hair and makeup because you desire it, because you love it for yourself, not because you feel pressured by me or by society to do it to perform a definition of beauty or of femininity. I want you to do your hair and makeup exactly how you want it, not the way a hair and makeup artist has decided for you. Or I want you to have the space and the permission to not wear any makeup because you don’t actually like styled hair and makeup. I never want you to feel like you have to perform a version of womanhood that you don’t identify with. I want to be the photographer that lets you desire something different. That lets you show up exactly how you want to be seen. I’m not going to retouch you to look different. And I am not going to have you sit in hair and makeup to conform. My definition of feminism allows each of us to our own desires, our own hunger, our own power that is defined by us, not for us.
Bibliography:
Penny, L. (2014). “Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies, and Revolution.” Bloomsbury, NY.
